“You’re so lucky,” she said as she ran around the stage. “To be able to sing up here all the time,” she stood on the main stage, throwing her arms out to an imaginary crowed.

“It’s not that exciting…” I know it wasn’t true, but I wanted to sound cool. She turned her head around with a smirk.

“Right…” she turned back to the crowed. “I wish I could sing up here, on a stage this big…” she ran down the steps and onto one of the path ways. She pretended to hold a microphone and she reached down to give high-fives to people. She started to sing one of my songs.

“Why don’t you?” I sat at the edge of the stage, watching as she ran all the way across the auditorium, giving high-fives to imaginary people. Once she was exactly parallel to me, she stopped and faced me. She looked so small, so far away.

“Because I don’t have the confidence,” she shouted. “I can’t have thousands of people looking at me…its different from thirty…” her voice died down. I didn’t hear the rest of her sentence. “Sakurai? How does it feel to sing up here?”

“Amazing…” I mumbled it. I know she didn’t hear me. She didn’t need to. “Kaho?” she was walking back towards me, singing softly to herself and waving up at the seats up top.

“Sakurai, I’m so jealous…I can’t believe you’re performing here tomorrow…” I smiled.

“You’ll come and watch, right?” she had to come. I mean, she didn’t come over here for no reason, right?

“Of course I will! I can’t miss your concert!” good, because knowing you’ll be in the crowed…I’ll do my best.

Those happy days were only months ago.


“Sho-kun?” I turned my head around, not having the energy to turn my whole body around. It was Rika-chan. She’s probably here to give Masaki his lunch that he forgot, on purpose, that is. “Are you ok?” she rushed over to me. Am I ok? “You look so thin…” yea, I know. I lost weight. “Here, eat this,” she handed me Masaki’s lunch.

“But this is Masaki’s,” I pushed it back to her.

“Don’t mind him, I’ll take the blame, eat,” she shoved the lunch back into my hands. I didn’t open it and we stood there for awhile in silence. I didn’t want to eat. She let out a frustrated sigh after watching me watch the lunch box. I saw her hands come into my vision and take the lunch box. I followed her hands and watched them as they opened the lid and revealed food. My stomach churned. I felt a low grumble. I was hungry.

“Rika-chan, Masaki’s probably waiting for you.” we were standing in the hall. I felt my legs shake and I sat down and rested against the wall. “He’s in the dressing room.” I pointed to the direction of Arashi’s dressing room, knowing Rika-chan’s horrible sense of direction.

“Sho-kun!” her voice was stern. I saw her take out chopsticks and pick up a bite of rice. “Eat!” she held it up to my mouth. I turned away.

“I’m not hungry.” I hate my stomach. It hates me. I just know it.

“I think you are.” I was about to protest, my mouth was open, the words coming out, but before they got out of my mouth, they were shoved back in by warm white rice.

“Rifahan!” she gave me a glare and I knew if I spit the rice out I would be killed. So obediently I chewed and swallowed.

“Now, eat, or I’ll have to feed you more.” I didn’t want to be fed like a baby…maybe if I feed myself, she’ll leave and I wouldn’t have to eat? I took the food from her and put in another small bite of rice.

“I can handle it from now.”

“I’ll wait until you finish.” I should have known. This is Rika-chan we’re talking about. She sat there the whole time as I shoved the food down my throat. I didn’t taste anything, just grief. “Ok, now I’ll go explain things to Masaki,” she smiled, standing up. I stood up too, I probably should get back before I get into more trouble.

“Sho-kun? Are you sure you’re alright? You don’t—”

“I’m fine,” I cut her off. I got steady and walked beside her. I’m fine. Perfectly fine. Why do people keep bothering me?

“Sho-kun…I know it’s hard…but it’s been six months…” her voice was soft. I felt hot tears rise up to my eyes.

“You wouldn’t understand.” My voice was cold. I know it was. I felt bad for using it but I couldn’t help it.

“I know I wouldn’t. But I can try. Can’t I? I want to help, Sho-kun, let us help.” She didn’t look over at me as she said this, but I could hear the concern in her voice. “I’m not the only one who can tell.” I looked down at my feet.

“Why?” I saw my feet stop moving. Everything started to blur. “Rika-chan…why?” I heard her come over to me. I felt her soft arms wrap around me. I buried my face into her shoulder, letting the hot tears spill out. “Why was it her? She didn’t need to go! It could have been me!”

“Sho-kun…I’m sure she would be upset if she heard you say that…” I know she would. If Kaho were here, she would have punched me for saying that. She would have yelled at me. I longed to feel that strong punch, to hear her yell…why was I not feeling it? Hearing it?

“Thanks, Rika-chan,” I wiped the tears away. I felt better. “Thanks…” she let me go and smiled at me.

“Anytime, Sho-kun. You know where I live, come visit when you need to,” she patted my shoulder as we started to walk, again, towards the dressing room.

“Rika!” As soon as Rika-chan opened the door, Masaki came pouncing out and onto her. Rika-chan, I feel sorry for you sometimes, I laughed.

“Get off of me Aiba Masaki!” Rika-chan struggled to get away from Masaki’s grasp.

“Did you bring my lunch? I forgot it again,” I felt my heart thump a little harder.

“Sorry, I got hungry and ate it…” Rika-chan smiled sheepishly. I watched as Masaki’s smile fell and a pout replaced it. He poked her cheek. “This is for you still not taking me to your restaurant.”

“I’m sorry!” Masaki smacked his forehead. “I just keep forgetting!” I wish I could be like them. I was like them. With her. The best girl. Kaho… my chest tightened.

YaY!! A new fic and Rika-chan's in it too^^ I'm glad you continue Rika-Aiba rabu. A sad beginning eh

Poor Sho!! I hope he feels better soon!!

I'm very excited to see you back with another story!

YAY! a new fic and rika is in it too!!!
poor sho-chan I can't wait to see how this one goes

omgackt. this new one's kinda sad..
i like it that it is parallel to some extent with the Aiba-centric one.
thanks!

It was in November when this happened. No one knew about her. I kept her a secret from my friends. From my family. From Arashi. I didn’t want to say anything until the right time. That day. The fourteenth of November. It was the perfect day. I was ready to introduce her to everyone. I had arranged everyone to meet me at my house. I had everything planned out perfectly.

Things went smooth. Everyone, Arashi, Rika-chan, and my family accepted her in with open arms. I don’t blame them. She’s perfect. Smart, beautiful, funny, nice, sweet, she’s anything and everything I could ever ask for. She’s perfect.

“Where did you go to school Kaho-chan?” my mother asked her over dinner.

“I went to Waseda,” she gave me a teasing smile. Her mother saw it and looked over at me.

“Waseda? Sho, did you hear that?” mother, how would I not know that? She’s my girlfriend.

“Yea, I know. But we both know that Keio’s better,” I gave her a smirk.

“But we both know that you’re lying,” she smirked back. I would have said something back, but stopped myself, giving her a defeating smile.

“So that means she’s smart!” I turned my head to Masaki who said this to Rika-chan.

“Of course she is!” Rika-chan rolled her eyes.

“She’s perfect for Sho-chan then!” he turned to Kaho. “Sho-chan uses big words when he talks to us, and Ohno and I can’t understand him a lot of the times…do you use big words?” Rika-chan gave Masaki a push. I chuckled. Ohno nodded.

“I don’t think I do,” Kaho laughed lightly. She gazed at the couple as they kept poking each other. She had a soft smile on her face. She was so pretty.

Dinner went great. We even all played a game while we ate some ice cream. After a couple of games of ‘BS’ and ‘31’ I noticed Kaho looking at her watch. She looked over at me and mouthed to me she had to go.

“Excuse us, but I need to take Kaho home now,” I stood up and walked over to help Kaho up.

“So soon? It’s only ten!” Masaki complained.

“She has work tomorrow,” I sighed as I started to walk down the hall towards the entry way.

“Thank you very much for dinner, it was nice meeting all of you.” I heard her say to Arashi, Rika-chan, and my family. There were a few mumbles in return and my mother fussed over how well behaved she was, loudly. I’m so glad Kaho wasn’t here to see my face turn red.

“You better come back soon!” I heard mother call as we opened the door. “I still have things I need to tell you about my son!”

“Mom!” I shut the door, cutting off all the sound from the inside. “I hope she didn’t bother you too much,” I reached down for her hand. It was a cold night.

“You have a great family,” Kaho laughed. She leaned closer to me. “Sakurai, I can walk home myself, its not too far. Go back to your family and friends,” she smiled up at me. “I’ll be ok.”

“No, I want to walk you home. I want to make sure you’re safe.” I couldn’t let a lady walk home in the dark by herself on a cold night. That wasn’t allowed in my rule book.

“You know,” she let out a puff of white from her warm breath. “I love my job. But I wish they would actually let me become a real teacher…at a real school, not a cram school.” I gazed down at her. It was amazing at the patients she had.

“You’ll get it soon, I know it,” I hugged her. “And I just know that you’ll be a popular teacher. Everyone will love you.” if I were a student, I’d want her to be my teacher.

“Thanks,” she giggled. “I hope that day comes soon…” I heard it. I knew it. But I couldn’t do anything about it. A car screeched. The tires stopped, but sliding on the slick ground. The headlights flashed at us and the driver was honking loudly. If I only had three more seconds, things would have been fine. Just three seconds.

There was a loud crash, a scream, shouts. I sat on the cold ground, my mouth hanging open with shock. I was pushed out of the way, out of harms way, safe. But in front of me, where I should have been, was Kaho. She was lying on the ground. I ran over to her on wobbly legs.

“Kaho! Kaho!” I shouted, putting my hands on her already cold face. No! This can’t be happening. I looked around at the people crowded around. I heard sirens and suddenly people in white rushed over to me and put Kaho on a stretcher, dragging me behind them into the back of the ambulance. I watched as they checked her over and did things I didn’t know. “Is she ok?” I finally asked. One of the guys clad in white turned to me with a grim face.

“We’re not sure right now, sir…” the ambulance pulled to a halt and Kaho was rushed off and into the E.R. A nurse walked over to me and took me back to a room where a doctor checked me over. I was then, after seeing nothing was wrong with me, rushed out and into a different room where police asked questions. Everything was a blur. I just wanted to know if Kaho was ok.


“Sakurai!” my manager barked at me. “Get off! You’re home!” I slowly lifted my head and looked out the window at my apartment building. So I am. “I still have to take that home!” he pointed at a happy Masaki looking at his phone. He’s probably sending messages to Rika-chan right now. I let out a sigh and got out, slowly walking towards the door. I wasn’t watching where I was going. I was watching my feet.

“Owe!” someone yelped. I shot my head up, surprised to hear a voice so close. Surprised to hear a female voice, so close, that wasn’t a scream. I saw a girl standing in front of me. She frowned as she looked down at her foot.

“Sorry…” I mumbled. I started to walk again, only to be stopped.

“Sorry isn’t going to make my toe feel better,” I turned around to look at this girl. “Treat me to ice cream and I’ll forgive you.” she had a sweet grin on her face. She had long, straight, dark brown hair with matching eyes. I didn’t feel like going home. I just shrugged and nodded.

“Fine, ice cream it is then…” Kaho, you always said ice cream makes you feel better when you’re sad.

omg I was not expecting that at all poor sho chan again!!!
its really good so far but poor sho!

It's so sad!! I hope that Sho finds happiness somehow!! She wouldn't want him to be unhappy!!

Keep up the excellent work!!

...and i like it, too, that this is being told through Sho's point of view..
sad story so far..
i know it's gonna get better. ne?
thanks!

“What’s your name?” the girl asked me as we walked down the sidewalk with ice cream.

“Sho…” did she not recognize me?

“Just Sho?” she laughed. “Well, I’m Natsumi,” she smiled. I nodded. “Do you talk?”

“Yes.” I licked my ice cream. Vanilla caramel, your favorite, Kaho.

“You’re not the talkative type, I’m guessing. That’s too bad. Why not?” she looked at me curiously. I looked away and shrugged. “You have to know. Why not talk? You only live life once, and you don’t always bump into people and see them again. Why don’t you talk to me?” she took a step closer to me. “I bet it’d make you feel better.” For some reason I felt the urge to just tell her. Tell her everything that I was feeling right now. Tell her what happened. Tell her how it was my entire fault that Kaho got hit. That she died.

“I…” I started but stopped. I couldn’t continue.

“You…?” she waited, a smile resting on her lips. I held the feeling back. She was a complete stranger. Why should I open up to her when I couldn’t even open up to my closest friends? Then again, she is a complete stranger, meaning I probably won’t see her again. I’ll tell her a little bit.

“I don’t know what to do.” The first thing that came out of my mouth.

“You don’t know what to do? With what? Life?” I nodded. “Well, I don’t either. I don’t think 99% of the people in this world know. They think they know, but they don’t. Don’t you think? They think that they’re happy, when they really aren’t. So when they’re not happy, are they really doing something they want?” I didn’t know what to reply to that. “Why don’t you know what to do with life?”

“There’s no point in it.”

“How come?”

“She’s not here…” I felt a cold drip. I looked down on my hand and noticed my ice cream melting. I quickly licked the melting ice cream.

“She? Did someone leave?” you could say she left. I nodded. “Where did she go? When is she coming back?” I felt my throat tighten.

“She’s not coming back.”

“She lives that far?” I nodded. “Then go visit her!” Visit her? I can’t visit her. I shook my head.

“I can’t.”

“Why not? Did you have a fight with her?” she doesn’t understand. Of course she doesn't Sho! She doesn’t know!

“She’s not here…”

“I know.”

“I mean, she’s not here…” she fell silent. This girl, Natsumi, who wouldn’t stop talking, wasn’t talking! Maybe I shouldn’t be so amazed by this. I mean, she just did realize that I lost some dearly.

“Of course she’s not here! You said she moved!” Natsumi scowled. “Do you think I don’t listen to you?” I looked at her with wide eyes. Did she seriously not understand me? I felt a tug on my lips. Slowly they turned upside down from my frown and I felt a rumble up my throat as laughter escaped. “What’s so funny?” I couldn’t stop laughing. It felt so great to laugh. To truly laugh, not laugh for show, but to laugh and mean it.

“It’s something that I probably shouldn’t be laughing about…” I sighed. “When I said she wasn’t here…I meant that she’s gone, as in, she’s not alive anymore…” the rush of joy that I felt from laughing was suddenly drained out of me, pulling my lips down back into a frown and my shoulders sagged.

“Oh…” she fell silent again. “I’m sorry…” we walked in silence for awhile, both of us absorbed in our own thoughts and ice cream. “When?” her word broke the silence.

“About six months ago…” I finished my ice cream and walked beside Natsumi as she still munched on hers.

“It hasn’t been awhile…I don’t blame you. You should mope! Be depressed! Be sad! Its ok!” she said this as if she were trying to cheer me up. “You have all the right to be depressed! You shouldn’t know what to do in life right now! You just lost someone dear to you! You should be lost!” this was a first. I was being encouraged to be depressed. Does this happen a lot? “Sho-san,” she smiled softly when I looked over at her. “Be depressed, but you don’t have to be by yourself. You shouldn’t hold it in all to yourself. You don’t have to cope with it...your friends are here…” she paused and seemed to think about it before she added, “I’m here…”

Yay!! A new chapter!! I really like Natsumi!! She seems very innocent!!

“Sho-chan’s been in a better mood lately,” I heard Masaki whisper loudly to Rika-chan. I pretended not to hear. I have been a better mood since my little ice cream date with Natsumi-san. It really cheered me up. She was different, I liked her. I hope I bump into her again.

“Shh…Aiba Masaki, let him be,” I heard Rika-chan say. I could hear the smile on her face.

“Why am I still Aiba Masaki?” and the routine of their arguing for the day started. They really were head over heels for each other. I turned my attention to the blank piece of paper in front of me, ignoring the arguing couple. I was working on some possible rap parts for some of the songs in the album coming out soon.

“—and they didn’t stop them!” I heard Jun’s voice in the hall way. He was probably telling Nino about his last Mago Mago Arashi where him and Ohno went to go cook dinner. He got beaten down by two kids and got lipstick on him. The door opened and I heard Nino’s laugh.

“You lost to two kids?” he laughed. “I wouldn’t blame Ohno for watching!” I glanced back at the two, who stopped for a second, rolled their eyes at the arguing couple, and returned to their own conversation, a slight smile on their face from the argument they were hearing.

“You’re going to take his side?” Jun plopped down on the ground, crossing his arms. “Sho-chan took his side too!” I glanced down at the younger man. He was making this into a production. I rolled my eyes at him.

“I’m on your side!” Masaki chirped, their argument settled, Rika-chan won, of course.

“Jun-kun, they’re just kids, it was fun, don’t you think you’re making this into a big deal?” Rika-chan sighed. Nino walked over and sat down next to her, putting his arm around her shoulders.

“Rika-chan’s right!” Masaki glared at Nino and threw his arm off of Rika-chan’s shoulders.

“It was lipstick!” Jun complained. I let out a frustrated sigh, which everyone heard and dropped the subject.

“How are the lyrics coming?” Rika-chan asked. I turned in my seat to face them.

“Having trouble, nothings coming to mind…” everyone had their eyes on me, a smile on their face. I felt uneasy. Why were they smiling at me with knowing eyes? “Um…Masaki-kun, when do you leave for Korea?” I’m sure it’s Korea he’s going to. Rika-chan looked at him with curious eyes.

“Korea? When are you going?” I think I shouldn’t have brought it up. I don’t think she knows.

“Korea? When am I going to Korea?” Masaki frowned. Wait, he didn’t know either? He scratched his head. I turned to Jun.

“I bet you looked beautiful with lipstick on though, what color was it?” he scowled at me. I gave him a smirk and turned back to my paper. It was almost time for us to leave. Any minute now, our driver will come in and tell us to get ready.


“Bye Jun!” Masaki waved widely as the, still slightly upset Jun, got out of the van. He turned around and gave a slight smile before shutting the door and walked quickly into his apartment building. Next stop, my apartment.

I know I shouldn’t hope, but I was hoping that I might bump into her again. I want to feel that feeling again. The feeling of laughing. I want to feel the heavy burden lift from my shoulders. Was that a bad thing?

“Sho-kun, you seem to be happy these days…” Rika-chan tapped my shoulder. I looked out the window and nodded. “I’m glad.”

“Me too!” Masaki exclaimed. “Oh! Sho-chan! Did you hear my solo? I finished recording it, isn’t that cool?” I nodded. I wasn’t really listening to them. I know it was rude, but I just wanted to try and pull that feeling of laughter back into me. It felt so nice.

As soon as the van pulled to a stop I jumped out without saying anything. I shut the door and looked around quickly, hoping to see her. But no luck. I let my shoulders drop and I dragged my feet into the building.

“Owe!” I shot my head up, my heart still beating from the fright I got from the female voice so close to me. But the feeling soon flew away. In front of me, looking down at her foot was Natsumi-san. “You again?” she smiled, though her brows were drawn together as she shook her foot slightly. Did I step on it that hard? “Are you a foot stepper?”

“I guess I am,” I nodded. My voice was a mono-tone. Why? I wanted to talk to her. I wanted her to hear that I found her amusing. But my voice only came out as a monotone. Why?

“What are you doing here?” we were inside the apartment building. “You live here?” I nodded. “You too?!” she exclaimed. Me too?

“Do you live here?” for a moment I felt my heart speed up. Maybe, like Masaki and Rika-chan, she’ll end up being my neighbor? She shook her head.

“I can’t afford this,” she laughed. “I would if I could. But I can’t. I work here,” she quickly shook her head. “I mean…well sort of. My sister lives here, and I baby sit.” She has a sister. I nodded my head slightly.

“You baby sit…?”

“That’s what I said. Wait…don’t tell me, now you can’t hear?” she laughed. “First you’re mute, and now you’re deaf too? Maybe you should go to the hospital to get checked out? Maybe I’m the one who should go? I think my toes broken from you stomping on it two times.” I bowed my head quickly. I guess I did step on it hard.

“I’m sorry…” I mumbled.

“Well, I think ice cream is just as good as a hospital,” I felt my lips tug into a slight smile. She was good. I nodded. And with that, we left to go get some ice cream, again.

I'm glad that Natsumi makes Sho feel better!! It's a very nice story!! The fact that you had Jun get beat down and attacked with lipstick is histerical!! Keep up the good work!!

zomg...just started reading it all 2day...so here's my overall thoughts...

IATTA!

wow. just wow. I love the parallel story with Aiba & Rika - r you going to do that for all your Arashi stories? That'll be chou kakkoi! & I feel so bad for Sho & Kaho...although I think Natsumi makes a good fall-back girl, even though I can sort of see problems arising already in the future..in a good complicated story plot way! so good work! keep the chappies coming ^__^

Very good! I look forward to reading more and seeing Sakurai get over his tragedy

Please write more soon!