Title: "MatsuJun-sama?"
Rating: PG-13 (NC-17 chapter not posted here)
Member/Pairing: MatsuJun with original character
Author: keira_aoi
Disclaimer: MatsuJun and Arashi aren't mine.

Author's Notes: This is a story about MatsuJun with an original character (This character is nameless and I write the story partly from her perspective, the good thing about this is that if you’re good in fantasizing about MatsuJun, you can actually become this girl or put yourself in her shoes.)




Ok, here’s the fic:
(I leave MatsuJun’s hairstyle in this story to your imagination)



Chapter 1:

Journal entries from a certain Lady X (told from her perspective)



Entry No. 256



Arashi has always been part of my life ever since their debut. I wanted to be part of their crew so that’s why the college course I took was related to public relations, I wanted to be in the inner circle of Arashi, helping them manage their schedules and assorted shows and concerts. That’s how devoted an Arashi fan I am.

Now, at 23, I love them more than ever.


Admittedly, I’m just one of many personal assistants that run around for the agency and it just so happens that I’m currently assigned to them.


When I was told that I would be part of their team, I was so happy I almost fainted. I don’t think anyone here has yet noticed that I am such a huge, huge fan. If they did, I probably wouldn’t be part of their team.


I think the best part of my assignment is when concerts or live shows end and I deliver fan goodies to Arashi. They usually meet at someone’s dressing room unless they all share one together. When they have individual dressing rooms, I get to chat with them a bit before I leave to do other tasks. And that’s my favorite part of my work.


Just the other month, when they did a live for a variety show, I was able to compliment Ohno-sama’s choreography. And just the other day, I read Sho-sama his schedule for him and the topic of their next show. It’s really great knowing that I’m part of a team that’s making Arashi stronger and more well known in other parts of the world.




Entry No. 278



Yesterday, something really embarrassing happened. I was bringing tea to Arashi-sama when they invited us all to celebrate a successfully finished taping. That wasn’t the embarassing part though. What was embarrassing happened when the party ended and I got to join Arashi-sama for drinks. I was the only one that got to go because it was a bit late and other staff members had to go home to their families. I guess living by myself has its perks.


Anyway, we went to a new restaurant. I didn’t know if it was pay for your own order so I decided to get the least costly drink on the menu. Matsumoto-sama noticed this and offered to treat me to whatever I wanted because it was a celebration and they were the ones who invited me in the first place.


It was really cute because the other Arashi members started teasing him about being a gentleman. Ninomiya-sama also got teased because when the bill came, he pretended to have an emergency phone call. I was watching them all, so comfortable with each other, and for some reason, my eyes started to tear. Matsumoto-sama noticed this because he was talking to me when my eyes started getting really wet. It was funny because they didn’t seem to know how to talk to me in that situation.


I told them that everything was fine, and I told them that I just got a warm feeling because I felt part of their group. Luckily, Aiba-sama started making a funny mixture with his leftover drink and some sauces that were on our table. This distracted them from delving too much on my sentimentality.


It was really embarrassing. I almost ended up going “fangirl” on them.


I was really grateful to Matsumoto-sama. He seemed quite concerned about me and offered to take me home. I didn’t expect that he would enter my small studio apartment, and I felt mortified that I forgot that most of my wall decor are framed posters of them. I was thankful that although he seemed to realize I was a really big fan, he just said, “You really take your work seriously.” I kind of felt that maybe he was laughing at me a little but at least it didn’t seem that obvious.


I guess to make up for discovering my secret and to put me totally at ease, he asked if I wanted to hang out with them tomorrow. He said they were going to his apartment to plan for their next concert. I was a bit confused since I thought that planning was done with both them and their managers but he said that they just wanted to iron out the message and songs they wanted to share to their fans in this concert.


I was thinking that if I had to pick a favorite among all Arashi members, it would have to be Matsumoto-sama. His devotion to the group is strongest among them all. Anyway, he told me he would pick me up to go to his house today but when he came by, he said that they had to cancel the meeting because something came up with work for the other members. Since he said he wasn’t doing anything that day, he asked me to still hang out with him.


I guess today was a pretty great day for me. We went around some shops he favoured and had dinner out. I think some fans recognized him but they respected his privacy. It was a good thing I decided to not to change from my work clothes for that meeting so no one assumed I was anything more than his assistant.




Entry No. 292




Matsumoto-sama seems to like my company. I was thinking this was the case because he asked me to help him with some personal matters that had nothing to do with work. I think he also started feeling weird around someone in office get-up all the time so he asked me to just wear what I normally would.


I’m happy he likes my company, not just because of work but for personal reasons. I just have to reign in my “fangirl” tendencies. I’m still working up the courage to ask him if we could have our picture taken together and have him sign it. Sigh! I’m such a dork.




Entry No. 309




I’m happy to report that Matsumoto-sama and I are friends now. We’ve kind of surpassed the whole assistant-client thing. Anyway, I still try not to walk too close to him to avoid any problems with other fans. I’m also taking on more responsibility in work. I think my boss sees that I’ve developed a friendship with Arashi-sama and he gives me more decision-making related assignments.




Entry No. 321




Matsumoto-sama asked me not to call him Matsumoto-sama, so I started calling him and the other members with “-san.” But when I started calling him Matsumoto-san he objected to that too. I’m kind of confused as to what to call him now. Anyways, the concert is getting closer, just a few more months to go! I’m so excited!




-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-





Chapter 2:




“Oi!, Matsumoto-sama, hurry up, we’re gonna be late.” Nino couldn’t resist taunting MatsuJun with the name their favorite assistant has been calling him since she began to work under their team.


“Yeah, Matsumoto-sama, you don’t want to offend our beloved assistant by coming in late, ne?” Ohno’s eyes were twinkling as he looked at Nino.


“Urusai!” These days, MatsuJun was getting more easily pissed off. It wasn’t the workload, although that did increase as their concert was drawing closer. But for some reason, he couldn’t get someone off his mind.


And they all knew who that someone was.

“I just don’t get why he just doesn’t come right out and say it? Something like, ‘Ano... all this time we’ve actually been dating.’” This from Sho.


“It’s odd, isn’t it. To his fans he has the cool image but when it’s someone he likes he’s so high school.” Aiba had the look of experience as he made this statement which made the other three grin behind his back.


“Oi, stop babbling like a bunch of housewives, let’s go!”




-0-0-0-




When they entered the studio for their taping, everything was prepared. This was another guest episode but MatsuJun’s head wasn’t in the show. Once again, she had her little clipboard of notes and was standing there talking to the camera people. Her hair was in a stylish bun with whisps of her black hair framing her oval face. She was wearing very light make up which he liked. He was getting more irritated as he stared at her.


Feeling someone watching, she glanced his way and gave him her work smile and a small nod. Aarrgh! She was driving him nuts. Instead of smiling back, he glared at her.


She made her way among the costumes and props area towards him.


“Matsumoto-sama, are you okay?”


“I told you not to call me that...”


“Gomen, Matsumoto-san. I’m still adjusting, I am still your fan, after all.” She teased him, she got along great with him. But for some reason, he was still “the idol.”


Nothing wrong with being “the idol,” just not when it came to her. It was obvious to those who really knew him that he liked her. But as to why she was special when she was so dense, he didn’t know. He was turning into DoS (Domyouji S) more often these days but it wasn’t the usual pranks. He was really getting cranky.


He tried being friendly, he tried being himself, but all that seemed to only put him higher up on the pedestal. If he asked her out she’d probably tell him to quit the prank.


And it was getting harder to keep his hands off her. Normally he didn’t like being touched, especially when he wasn’t close with the person. But lately, he would watch her movements and wonder about how her skin would feel, or her hair.


The agency wanted them to keep their relationships private. That was fine with him. Problem was, with the rate things were going, he wouldn’t have one.


“Minna-san, we’re about to start. Positions please.”


After hearing that call, she moved away and for some reason, it made him feel more lost.




-0-0-0-0-




He stared at her hand as it rested on the table of the restaurant. She was tapping her fingers on the table as she went thru her questionnaire. The questions were actually getting uncomfortable.


“Let’s go with this one, ‘is there anyone you like now? Are you seeing anyone?’ It seems like your fans never forget to ask that question. Maybe we should set up an online poll in this website for who they think you’re dating.”


Back to business as usual. Tap, tap, tap...


“Or maybe we should go for this one, ‘which hairstyle suits Matsumoto-san best?’ Hmm... I’d probably be interested in participating in that one...”


Tap, tap, tap...


“This new website should probably have some fan pages, too. I was surfing one of your fan sites the other day and some of the artwork is really, really good. Maybe we should ... huh... ano, Matsumoto-san, I don’t think you should cover my hand like that, people might get the wrong idea.”

“Ano... I’m just, umm...” He let go of her hand and straightened in his chair.


“Gomen, when I talk or think my hands sometimes become fidgety, I know it’s probably annoying...”


Yabai! Did someone turn the air conditioning off or am I blushing?


“Iie, daijoubu, ano... I need to ask you something, it’s pretty serious.”


When she put her notes down and he had her full attention, MatsuJun became even more nervous and insecure. Should he do this like Domyouji would? Like Momo would?


“Ano... I’ve been meaning to ask you...”


“Hai?”


“When we’re together, and it’s not about work, how do you see me?”


“I don’t understand what you mean. You’re Matsumoto Jun-sama.”


“Cut it out with the –sama already!” With that outburst, other people were turning to stare.


Silence reigned. But as she was about to apologize, he beat her to it.


“Gomen. I’ve been treating you unfairly. It’s not your fault. Well it is, but it also isn’t. I want to explain something to you but before that let me ask you this. . . when I’m cornered and embarrassed, what do I normally do?”


She looked at him, more confused than ever, but answered the question anyway. “You kind of rub your nose a bit or blush when you’re embarrassed but when you’re cornered you kind of lash out...”


“I guess you really know me so well.” Smiling a bit sadly, MatsuJun looked into her eyes and took one of her hands. “But I don’t know if you really see me...”


“I don’t understand.”


“I’ve been feeling cornered and embarrassed around you for some time now. It’s not a mood swing or anything. But to be honest, it’s actually because you’re driving me nuts. You’ve put me on this sort of pedestal with a look but don’t touch sign on it. You seem to want to be my friend but you’re actually hurting me this way. You try to be close to me, to know me, but when I try to get close to you, you push me away.”


He probably said too much. Looking at their hands he felt blood rushing thru his head. Just say it, get it over with.


“I like you.”


Somehow that sounded better in his head. As confessions go, this was actually pretty horrible. It was more of a complaint than a confession. He gripped her hand and waited several seconds before raising his eyes to meet hers.


- End of Chapter 2 -

I love seeing Jun without his "cool" aura up.
It'd be really great to be their personal assistant!
But poor <s>Matsumoto-sama</s> Jun, he seems really torn up about it
Continue please, it's really interesting!

yay! a new Jun fic!!!

Quote:

“Oi, stop babbling like a bunch of housewives, let’s go!”

^that made my day!

you know, after seeing all the vidz on youtube of Jun's proposals, and confessions and how they're all done so cool-like, this made me smile....sorta. to see how he can let the "cool" go down.

I found this intriguing, hope you update soon!

Wah! He confessed!!! And to think she's a huge Arashi/Matsumoto-sama fan XDDD

Can't wait to read more!!!

awwwwwwww, i know this one from ur livejournal ,and now ur posting it here too,so great,sugeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee... demo i'm allready further,at chap 6..so please hayaku with ur updates...it's really interesting,and u stopped at a very intense point, u know what i mean

I know what you mean, metufanippon (and i love ur icon!)! LOL. I read her fic at her LJ as well. And am patiently waiting... well ok, impatiently! Haha.

Author's Notes:

Thanks for all the comments, this is originally an NC-17 story and I actually debated whether I should post this fic here since NC-17 stories are strictly not allowed. So I asked permission, and so long as I don't post the NC-17 chapter here, it's ok.

Also, to those who have read this fic at my LJ, I'm revisiting all the previous chapters. I edited the second half of Chapter 3, and decided to re-post it here so I hope it's more accurate in terms of characterization. (Thanks to "polluxme" for the feedback she gave at my LJ regarding this chapter)

Hope you enjoy reading this ...


-0-0-0-0-0-



Chapter 3:


Journal entries from a certain Lady X (told from her perspective)


Entry No. 378

I can’t go to work. I absolutely can’t go to work. It would be too weird and awkward. Aaaargh, I’m such an idiot!!!!!!!!

Just a while ago, while Matsumoto-sama and I were talking about new webpage ideas for him, something really, really weird happened. I mean I felt like it was straight from an AU fanfiction!

My hands are shaking... I need water. No, wait, I need to write this down before my head explodes.

We were at a restaurant... I was talking about suggestions for the webpage and for some reason, Matsumoto-sama started talking about how I “knew him very well but didn’t see him.” I kind of got the gist that he wanted me to see him as a friend more than as a superstar. But what was really (and I mean really!!!!!!) weird was that I heard him say “I like you.”

At the moment, all I could think was... “Uso, uso, uso, uso...” It was like a chant going over and over in my head. He was looking at my hand when he said it, no wait, he was looking at our hands because he was holding my left one. (That in itself makes me doubt what I’m writing right now.)

When he looked up, and I was looking at his eyes, and I could see his face, and I could see that half-smile, and I could see that mole just above his lip... my brain turned to mush. He was looking at me, I was looking at him. And I shudder to think of what expression I had on my face. The chanting was getting louder. I was getting scared of the prolonged silence. I was scared I might just suddenly start screaming.

Anyway, he opened his mouth to say something. And that was when I stood up, grabbed my notes, and said, “Gomen, Matsumoto-sama, I think I left the water running in my kitchen sink.”

Aaaaaaarrgh! Such a dumb thing to do!!! What’s worse is that I rushed out of there as if demons were chasing me.

I can’t face him, I absolutely can’t face him!

I won’t go to work tomorrow. Yes, that’s it. I definitely won’t go to work tomorrow. No wait, I have some reports to submit. It’s only ten more days until their concert...

No, I’ll just ask someone from work to pass by my apartment tomorrow and I’ll pretend I got sick.

Okay, breathe. Just breathe. Think of something else... I REALLY NEED TO THINK OF SOMETHING ELSE!



Entry No. 379


I’m so glad one of my co-workers lives nearby. I gave her the report to submit to the office and informed my boss that I wouldn’t be coming to work today. Arigatou!!!

I still have to work on my strategy on what I will say to Matsumoto-sama when I see him... Realistically, I know I can’t hide from him forever. I’ve actually been dreading it ever since I read a cell phone message from him last night asking if he could come over. Gyaa! He wanted to come over!!!

No way! The chanting was starting in my head again so I replied that I was out with friends. And then I turned my phone off just to be safe.

What’s wrong with me?

If it’s really true that Matsumoto-sama likes me and I wasn’t just hallucinating, then I should be really happy. I’ve admired him for so long and I always think about him more than anyone else.

But do I like him that way?

He’s quick to anger but also very generous. I love him when he’s on stage and I love him when he’s in dramas. I love everything about him, even when he’s playing to the crowd and acting all cool and kawaii at the same time.

But do I really like him that way?

And does he really like me?

Thinking about that actually makes me sad. I’m sure other girls would love to be in this position. I once saw this beautiful collage of pictures and fan art in one of his fan sites. It showed sides to his character that you would need to be close to him in order to find out. I thought that the girl who made that probably understood his beauty best. And I mean not just his physical beauty.

I feel unfair to his other fans. I mean I purposefully set out on a goal to be close to Arashi-sama. And now Matsumoto-sama likes me? I’ve abused the position I’ve been given. Other fans love him as much as I do. I want to enjoy the moment and imagine myself sailing away with his arms around me. But don’t other fans have the same fantasies? It is only now, when I’m faced with the reality of things happening my way that I get scared.

Do I deserve to be part of his life, or just merely observing it?



-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-




Sho ran a bit late, something unusual for him and resigned himself to the teasing he would get from the other Arashi members when he arrived. He entered the room where they were having their concert costume fittings and saw that some of the costumes were once again a bit too much. But he would thankfully accept anything as long as it wasn’t in any way similar to their see-through debut outfits.

“Yo! Where’s the rest of the team?”

Aiba looked up from a manga he was reading. The other members weren’t trying on the outfits, which was pretty normal during dress fittings. When they had to wear them, then they had to. But since no one was around, they were all pretty much doing their own thing and ignoring the costumes altogether.

“A few of them were here but some had meetings and then the others had to go get other costumes and stuff so they left.” Nino answered this without taking his eyes off his game console. He was sitting by himself among the work tables and chairs.

“Where’s MatsuJun?” Sho sat down on the couch opposite Ohno who was making a sketch in his notebook.

“He just stepped out. He’s probably somewhere on this floor.” Nino answered again.

Sho looked from one to the other, then to Aiba who was sitting beside him. “Ano... am I missing something? What’s with the weird mood?”

The other three stopped what they were doing for a moment and looked at each other.

“He was acting weird, wasn’t he?” Aiba faced Ohno as he posed this question.

The other just looked at him with a disgruntled expression.

“Or maybe we went too far... Did we go too far?” Aiba faced Nino this time.

“I don’t think so.” Nino furrowed his brows as he continued to concentrate on his game.

“Are you guys talking about MatsuJun?”

Aiba answered for them all after setting his manga down. “It was really weird, ne? It’s like he entered the room, looked around at us all and then just sat by himself. Only this time he had like a really dark...ano ... dark aura, I guess.” Aiba finished this statement after making gestures meant to encompass the whole body. “It’s like when you read manga and a character gets moody and sulky, you get the feeling that they have a very dark presence. Very, very danger, ne?”
[A/N: Aiba-chan actually says “very, very danger” in English like he does in Shimura Ken]

Sho understood. MatsuJun already had a dark presence about him but it must have been really something for Aiba to call it an aura.

“If Aiba came into the room with that kind of mood, I think it wouldn’t have been that scary. But if Sho-kun or MatsuJun did, I think the staff would try to make a break for it.” Nino said this while smirking at Sho, knowing he had sometimes lost his temper and waiting for him to deny it.

Sho and Nino started a staring contest from across the room.

Ohno leaned back on the couch. “The others had to leave, but I think they were eager to do so because of the weird mood.” He was actually just making a summary of what they were talking about but his words ended the staring contest since the others expected him to say nothing for at least 5 more minutes.

Since this seemed like a meeting, Nino joined them and sat beside Ohno, hitting him lightly on the shoulder in affection.

“When it was only the four of us left, Aiba-chan pranced around MatsuJun and said something like ‘She hasn’t arrived yet, ne? So don’t take it out on us, ne?’” Nino said this while trying to imitate Aiba’s way of talking.

“I didn’t think he would take that seriously, every time we tease him about her he just says ‘Urusai!’ or something like that. And you’re one to talk. Who was the one who said ‘She’s probably avoiding him because he’s having another PMS mood swing.’”

“Hey, I was defending you back there!”

“You were fanning the flames! That wasn’t helping at all!” Aiba lost his carefree attitude at the thought of MatsuJun getting really mad at him. If he got the cold treatment, Aiba knew he wouldn’t survive.

“Ano... I’m thinking you guys got that one right. He’s been pissed off lately and we know it’s because of her so this is probably the same, ne?”

“Riida, I didn’t know you were that sensitive. You really do have good points from time to time...” This from Nino as he patted Ohno’s head.

“Oi, take this seriously! I think we should find him and get him to talk to us. The concert is in 9 days. If something goes wrong or we forget something important, he’ll blame himself because he wasn’t focused on the concert.” Sho was getting more worried.

The others were nodding their agreement on this when the door opened again. MatsuJun entered, looking around for other staff members.

“Oi, where’s everybody? Did they get the stuff we need for the fitting?”

The others watched him in silence. He really did seem to have a dark aura was what Sho thought.

The silence went on. MatsuJun started shifting his weight from one leg to the other, getting uncomfortable with the tension the others were purposely creating by just staring at him. When he made a move to sit beside Nino, the other stood up and sat on the couch Sho and Aiba were sitting on. A clear indication that he didn’t want to sit beside MatsuJun.

“Oi, Nino, are you starting a fight with me?!”

Nino just looked at MatsuJun. And the others moved their heads back and forth as they watched the other two. Aiba got more and more uncomfortable as the two continued to glare at each other.

“No one’s starting a fight, ne Oh-chan?” Aiba picked the wrong person to second his opinion as the other just kept looking back and forth between the other two.

Seconds ticked by. Then MatsuJun let out a deep sigh and leaned back on the couch, closing his eyes and stretching his arms to further sink into the cushions. “Gomen Aiba-chan, Nino-kun, I didn’t mean to snap at you earlier. I’m just having a really bad day...”

“Hai! Apology accepted! So what’s wrong with you anyway?” Nino said this way too quickly which confirmed MatsuJun’s suspicions that he was just being teased. Again.

“Is it her?” Aiba was tentative about opening the topic again, but the question had to be asked.

MatsuJun opened his eyes to look at the others. When he saw that they were all looking at him with earnest faces, he laughed. “Gomen for making you worry.”

He sat back up and crossed his legs. The tension was back in the room as they all waited for him to say something more.

“I told her last night that I liked her. It was horrible. I blamed her for putting me through this misery then I told her I liked her.” Sensing he had an audience hanging on to his every word, MatsuJun got up and got a glass of water from the refreshment stand beside the work area. He took his time, the others following him around with their eyes until he finally sat back down beside Ohno.

After sipping some of his water, he finally said, “She got up and left with some really lame excuse about needing to go home. After giving it about an hour or so, I sent her a message that I wanted to come over to talk, that was followed by her message that she was out with friends. Then I called several times but couldn’t get through. So it’s quite obvious that she’s avoiding me now.”

MatsuJun tossed his head a bit self-consciously and was noisily sipping his water to relieve the tension his statement made.

“So she rejected you?” This from Sho.

MatsuJun choked on the water as his exact thoughts went flying out of Sho’s mouth.

“Aa! Such a direct hit coming from the Keio-boy.” As he said this, Nino watched as MatsuJun tried to cough out water from his lungs. Nino stood up and went to the other couch as if to help MatsuJun, but thought better of it, then went directly to the work area and brought out his game console. Sho glared at Nino.

“No, she’s just avoiding him because he messed up his confession. The strategy here should be to stalk her until she gives in. That’s the basic call of the predator to the prey, or the male to the female. ” Aiba said this as he rubbed MatsuJun’s back, the only one among the four who got up to help their choking friend.

“But why would you avoid someone for something like that unless you have plans of rejecting him.” Ohno added this, a semi-dazed expression on his face as he followed the conversation. It was actually this statement that seemed to affect MatsuJun the most.

MatsuJun thanked Aiba and waved him back to his seat. “I’m not sure. I have absolutely no idea what’s going on in her head. She didn’t even come to work today. It’s driving me nuts. She’s always driving me nuts! If I didn’t like her, I’d probably smack her!”

“Oi, DoS, calm down...” Because the mood seemed more light-hearted, Nino was once again making snide remarks while his face was glued to his game. “I don’t think she’s an idiot so she’ll probably talk to you when she’s ready.”

“Yeah, she’s actually quite sensible. And she seems more mature than you even if you’re older by a few months.” Sho said this as he brought out a newspaper. Ohno was also once again doodling on his sketchpad.

“Women are naturally more mature, how else would they know how to turn us inside out. I’d probably read Shoujo manga to learn about them but there’s just too much emotion.” Aiba started leafing through his manga again, his carefree smile back on his face.

Sho was looking at the others over his newspaper, feeling quite relieved. Things went back to normal as they waited for their costume fitting – each one was doing his own thing but still participating in the conversation. Smiling at MatsuJun from across the table, he opened his mouth to give heartfelt words of “good luck.”

But somehow, Ohno had revived enough to beat him to it: “Oi, MatsuJun... Ganbatte!”





-0-0-0-0- end of chapter -0-0-0-0-

Author's Notes: I'm posting all the chapters I've finished so far at my livejournal. Please read and comment if you can. Arigatou!



Chapter 4:



Directly after the costume fitting and the rehearsals which took almost 4 hours, the Arashi members left and went off on their own. MatsuJun was glad with the results of the costumes since they were definitely something that would call to the fans. Some were a bit over the top and some of the Arashi members still had their doubts, but the Concert King was back in true form and any problems were settled.

Everything was prepared: the song lists, the costumes, the choreography, the stage sets...

Although, work was done for the day, MatsuJun brought the video of their rehearsals with him so that he could study it more at home. He knew that everything was ready for the concert, but there was something missing. Even though they did their best today at rehearsals, it wasn’t enough. And it was because she wasn’t there to watch them. Or rather, watch him.

Ever since he discovered that he had feelings for her, her smile had become his biggest uchiwa. And every time he would go on stage, even if it was just for rehearsals, he would look for it.

She was sarcastic and playful, funny and smart. And her face was the most expressive he had ever seen. He had always wondered what she would look like if he ever kissed her.

Stalk her until she gives in.

It was probably that comment from Aiba that led him to her apartment complex, and before he even knew it, he was at her front door.

He hesitated. Yabai! If she sees me, she probably won’t open the door.

Taking out his cell phone, MatsuJun dialled her number while his ear was pressed to the bottom half of the door. He could hear footsteps, she was definitely inside. But she wasn’t answering her phone.

MatsuJun squatted down and rested his back on her door. How do I get her to let me in?

Just then, he heard footsteps coming from the elevator. As he saw the person come into the hallway, he found the answer to his problem.



-0-0-0-


She was lying on the bed, her hands pressing her phone to her chest, singing to the lyrics of “Happiness” as her phone rang with its melody.

Matsumoto-sama was calling her again.

She knew she was being childish but somehow the thought of talking to him was too scary to think about. He must probably think the worst of her by now.

The phone stopped ringing. That made her close her eyes as she turned to her side and imagined a life without Arashi, and without him.

I’m being dramatic again.

She tried laughing off her confusion but today was just not the day for laughs. She was disturbed by the last entry she had made into her journal. She had just begun writing her feelings on paper until she realized that she didn’t understand what exactly she was feeling.

It was hard making sense of it.

The doorbell rang.

“Chotto matte kudasai.”

Feeling the tiredness in her entire body, she got up to walk to the door. She had changed back into her pyjamas this morning when she finally made up her mind to take the day off and hadn’t even bothered to tie her hair. The walk from the bed to the door wasn’t that far. The room was a simple studio apartment and the bedroom was the only thing she bothered to divide with shoji screens. The kitchen was not for gourmet cooking and the bathroom was just a shower and toilet set with no actual bath.

The doorbell rang again.

When she looked into the peephole she saw that it was Yuri-chan from next door. Yuri-chan was in her 2nd year of middle school and she sometimes stopped by to hear stories about working with Arashi as well as to check on whether the concert tickets promised to her had arrived.

It was strange. Yuri-chan seemed glued to whatever she was looking at on her right.

“Yuri-chan?” She opened the door. “Ano... Yuri-chan? Daijoubu?”

She opened the door wider and as she did so, a hand came out of nowhere to hold the door. As she traced the hand back to its owner, she went into a state of shock.

Using this opportunity, MatsuJun pushed her back into the room as he entered it.

As he closed the door, he gave Yuri-chan a wink and an “Arigatou.”

By the time the door had closed, Yuri-chan had collapsed onto the floor. It was several minutes before she could stand up and go to her own apartment. When she got there, she collapsed again in front of her apartment door. Grasping her throat, Yuri-chan tried to voice out the thought that had been going on in her head since she turned the corner into the hallway...

“Wa........was that........real......ly.......Matsumoto Jun......-sama?”


-0-0-0-0-


The sound of the door closing brought her back to reality. He began removing his shoes. But even as he made his way into her apartment she just continued to stare.

“You weren’t at work today.”

She nodded her agreement to this. And as he moved forward, she backed up.

“You weren’t answering any of my phone calls or messages.”

Again, she nodded. And he continued moving forward.

“Are you sick?”

She shook her head. Her back was to the wall.

“Are you avoiding me?”

She refused to shake or nod her head.

“Are you avoiding me?” The question was asked more quietly this time.

She slumped down to the floor and wouldn’t look at him.

Stalk her until she gives in.

MatsuJun sat down in front of her and waited.

But as he looked at her nervous face, he knew she wasn’t yet ready to talk to him about anything. MatsuJun leaned closer to her and used his right hand to stroke her cheek. He could feel a wetness there and as he raised her face to his, he saw tears.

Seeing this wrenched something deep in him. She was his biggest fan. He knew this even without her telling him so. But did she love him? Or did she love just the idea of being with him?

He watched her wipe her face but wouldn’t let go of his hold on her. He knew he was at an advantage but he never thought of even trying to stop himself.

He traced her lips with his thumb. And as he bent over to touch her lips with his, he heard her sharp intake of breath.

Her lips were trembling, and they were cold. He pressed light kisses on her closed mouth, letting her get accustomed to the feel of his own. He moved his right hand down her throat and tilted her head for a better angle. His other hand moved to touch her waist and pull her closer.

Her body was stiff and she wasn’t responding to any of his kisses. MatsuJun brought his hand to her chin and pressed it down to open her mouth. When she did so, his tongue swept in and touched hers.

Closing her eyes, she melted against him. Her body was getting warmer, her hands reaching out to touch his chest.

When he felt her response, he deepened the kiss.

With his left hand kneading her waist, he made a small groan and moved his lips to her throat. He ran light kisses on it and was moving his hand slowly up from her waist.

She was dreaming. Matsumoto-sama was here, in her apartment, and he was kissing her as if he would never stop. She had fantasized about this many times and now it was actually happening.

MatsuJun lifted her onto his arms, his mouth kissing hers once more, and carried her to the small couch she had in her apartment.

As he lay her down, he straightened and looked down at her, his fingers lightly touching her hair.

“Gomen, I didn’t come here for this. I just wanted to see you.”

MatsuJun moved his fingers over her hair. Now he knew the texture of it and how it cascaded down her back when it wasn’t tied into a bun behind her head. He was never going to regret what he did just now. Kissing her was something he had been thinking about for so long. But he knew it had irrevocably changed their relationship forever.

“I’m being very selfish.”

He stood up and moved away from her. As he did so, she slowly sat up on the couch and followed him with her eyes.

The distance was supposed to clear his head. But when he faced her and saw her mouth rosy with his kisses and her hair dishevelled from his caresses, he had to turn his back. Closing his eyes, he counted to ten.

“I’ve liked you for some time now. I thought it was obvious, but to you it isn’t. You’re probably the densest person I’ve ever met, but I like you.”

Not being able to resist seeing how she was taking this, MatsuJun turned to face her once more. There was a look of concentration on her face as she tried to put her feelings into words.

“I never thought you would ever like me. For me, you were always Matsumoto-sama of Arashi. Gomen, I actually don’t know what I’m feeling right now.”

It was pretty much what he had expected. He sat down beside her on the couch and weighed his choices. He could keep pushing her to accept him or he could give her time to sort out her feelings.

He laughed. It was actually funny if one had to stop and consider it. “I never thought my biggest competition would be myself.”

He turned to face her, reaching out to tuck her hair behind her ears. “I’ll make you a deal. I’ll give you until after the debut of our concert to decide. After that, I’m going after what I want...”

With those words he stood up and made his way out. After putting on his shoes, he opened the door.

“Oh, and as for tomorrow...” He waited until their eyes met from across the room. “Come to work. The deal is off if you keep avoiding me.”

He smiled at her just as he closed the door.




-0-0-0-0- end of chapter -0-0-0-0-

Author’s Notes : PLEASE READ!!!

Ok, Chapter 4 is done. I’m sad to say that the weekend is almost over and I have to go back to reality. Although keeping up this lifestyle of writing until your eyes start to close is definitely “very very danger.”

For Chapter 5, the topic will touch on the concert before it goes to Chapter 6. Since this is a fanfic challenge for “the dressing room,” that’s obviously the setting for Chapter 6. I’m not sure how I’m going to pull that one off yet.

Also, to those who want to add me to their "friends list," feel free to do so, no need to ask permission. (hug, hug, hug)



-0-0-0-

end of Chapter 4

Chapter 5:



Entry No. 381


I sat on my couch just thinking about what happened – about Matsumoto-sama coming to my apartment, about him kissing me and about what he said. Before I knew it, I had been sitting there for hours and it was already 8pm. The room had gotten dark and my stomach was already grumbling. But what brought me back from my trance was the sound of the doorbell.

I went into instant panic, thinking it was him again. When I checked the peephole, it was Yuri-chan. Was this what they called déjà vu? I called to her in a loud voice and asked “Is there anyone else out there other than Yuri-chan?” Yuri-chan said it was just her, and after waiting some more, I decided to open the door.

Yuri-chan was quite tense when she entered my apartment and she formally asked me if we could talk. When tea and some food was prepared and we had sampled both, she asked me if I was Matsumoto-sama’s girlfriend.

What was I to say?!?!? I think I just looked at her and started turning red!

Yuri-chan probably assumed I was his girlfriend because she continued with her speech. She said something like, “I’ve always admired Sempai because she knew what she wanted and that was to support Arashi-sama. And I think you are totally the girl that would catch Matsumoto Jun-sama’s attention.”

Really???? She thinks that way??????

When I asked her why, she said she read the description of the kind of girl Matsumoto-sama liked in one of his interviews in “Popolo” and that I had all the characteristics except for three – she said I could be dense sometimes but only when it’s about myself and not about others, that I was bad at cooking and that I had poor love of self.

Eh? Was that a compliment? I wracked my brain to remember the details of that interview but my mind turned a complete blank.

Anyway, Yuri-chan said that she would keep our relationship a secret and that she was rooting for me. I was shocked. I had heard Yuri-chan say so many times that Matsumoto-sama was her ichiban in Arashi and that she wanted to marry him despite the age difference. She always seemed so adult when she said such things so I asked her why she was giving up on Matsumoto-sama so easily.

She said it was because I was his choice and because “sempai is sempai.”

As she was leaving, she said I had better do my best to be a good girlfriend and that she wanted to see her ichiban happy. Yuri-chan by this time had lost all her tension and was smiling again. Her parting words to me before she left were “Now that Matsumoto-sama has you, I will concentrate on Ninomiya-sama.” We both laughed at that.

But still, her earlier seriousness made me see Yuri-chan in a whole new light.



Entry No. 382


It’s now almost 1 am. I can’t sleep. I’ve been thinking about being with Matsumoto-sama and how it would be and now I can’t sleep. I’m glad I talked with Yuri-chan. After she left, I went to the nearest internet cafe and researched on that interview. (I should probably ask permission at the agency so that I can access the individual files of Arashi-sama.)

After reading it, I had doubts about being Matsumoto-sama’s girlfriend. I was thinking about this as I returned to my apartment when it hit me that I really had put him on that pedestal. Maybe Yuri-chan was right and I just don’t think that well about myself.

This also made me realize that I was reacting to his confession in the same way as Cinderella to Prince Charming. Something like, “you are so great and I’m grateful you love a nobody like me.”

Well, he’s definitely not that great...

No, wait.... I’m lying...

He’s cold and he can be quite obsessive about work (like totally obsessive). He’s quick-tempered and likes to argue, he’s always late, he’s vain and he knows his appeal to women. But then despite all that, he cares a lot about what other people think of him so, in other words, he’s actually very insecure. He’s shy and introverted. He loves his fans so much. He’s sweet and thoughtful and cute and sexy and when he smiles my heart starts beating so fast.

He’s just so complex that he’s turning me inside out!

And another thing I keep thinking about is if we were together, what would I call him? Matsumoto-kun? Matsu-chan? Jun-san? Kyaaa! I can’t call him by his first name, I just can’t! And if I did, the other people we work with would start to talk.

If he was an ordinary guy, I would have probably gone out with him in a second.

Wait... does that mean I already see him that way?



-0-0-0-0-0-



8 days later
6 hours before the concert




“Oi, oi, oi, oi, look! Look at him! He’s doing it again! He’s smiling to himself again!!”

MatsuJun ignored that comment from Aiba as his grin got wider. He was lying down on the dark brown couch in their resting room with his hands behind his head.

She was just so cute! The past few days were as amusing as they were torturous.

The day after he went to her apartment, when they saw each other at work, she immediately came up to him, grabbed the sleeve of his jacket and asked if they could talk privately. When they were at the stairs of the building, on the other side of the door with the fire exit sign, she said, “I know you want me to see you apart from being an idol and I plan to do my best. So please go out with me.” She ended this with a formal bow.

He was so overwhelmed by this that when she straightened up, he just had to hug her. And if he had to hug her, then he had to kiss her.

She was just starting to respond to his kisses when her phone rang. It was his manager asking that she locate him and bring him to rehearsals. After the call ended, she became so self-conscious that she started blushing.

“Ano... I don’t think you should keep doing that...”

“Doing what?”

“You know exactly what!!! Stop kissing me all the time!”

“Why?”

“Well, you said you would give me time to decide on my feelings...”

“But you’ve already decided, you just asked me to go out with you.”

“That’s not what I meant. I mean yes, I want to go out with you but it’s so that I can see the real you behind this... this...image.” She was pointing at him as she moved her hand up and down to stress her point.

“So is this some sort of trial thing? We’ll go out to test the waters and if it doesn’t suit you, then you’ll end it?”

“Ye...No... Well, I don’t know! You’re the one who said I shouldn’t avoid you!!!”

“Okay.”

“Huh? Okay what?”

“Okay, I’ll go out with you until our deal expires.”

She became speechless after that. She was so adorable that he just had to kiss her again. But when he stepped closer, she shoved him back.

“Don’t touch me! I can’t think when you touch me!”

“I’d much rather you stopped thinking.” He had moved to touch her again.

“No! Just please go... Just go to rehearsals already!”

She was so mad and so red from blushing that he started laughing. But he took mercy on her and went to rehearsals.

When work was done for the day, they had dinner together. He was almost dragged off by the other members of Arashi when he said that he had to talk to her about that new website. So the others left, but with smirks on their faces.

It was their first official date. He wanted it to be memorable so he took her to one of his favorite restaurants. After they had ordered, he reached for her hand across the table. When she noticed, she pulled her hand back and glared at him.

“What?”

“We’re in public.”

“So? We’re in the private section of the restaurant.”

She looked around to check if anyone was watching. After a few more seconds of indecision, she put her hand back on the table. He was smiling as he reached for it again.

“What is it with you and touching? I thought you didn’t like being touched.”

“Says who?”

“Says your profile. The one that comes up when I Google your name.”
[Author’s Note: I’m assuming that Jap people also use Google the same way other countries do]

“You’ve Googled me?”

“Well of course I have, any decent fan would have.”

“Actually, I’ve Googled myself, countless times. I think it says “doesn’t like to be touched unless he initiates it first.”

Knowing his obsessive streak, she assumed he was probably right about that. As they ate, she was impressed. The food really was delicious.

After dinner, they walked around. Then MatsuJun suggested they watch the rehearsals video at his place because he wanted her feedback on some things.

She answered with, “No, I don’t think I should go to your place yet.”

He was quick to answer back. “Okay, how about you’re place then?”

She didn’t trust the gleam in his eyes. “Let me rephrase. I don’t think I should go anywhere with you after...” She looked at her watch. “after 11 pm.”

“What is that? A curfew?” He asked in disbelief.

“Yes, it’s a self-imposed curfew.” Her chin was jutting up as she started becoming defensive.

“What are you? A child?!!!”

“I just don’t want to go anywhere near you behind closed doors. You’ll probably start attacking me again.”

“Eh??? Attack you? I don’t attack you!!!! I just kiss you, and it’s not my fault when you forget yourself and start kissing me back!!!”

He stopped his tirade when she burst into laughter. The witch was teasing him. He got pissed off that she could manipulate him that easily so he left her there and started walking briskly in the direction of her apartment.

“Oi, chotto matte yo!”

That night, he ended up staying at her place until 1 am as they both watched the rehearsals video.

There were times in the past few days when she really drove him crazy. She had wanted to keep it a secret from the other Arashi members that they were dating. So in other words, they had to sneak around. But to him, keeping the public from knowing about his personal life was different from hiding it from his friends.

Then the other day, she did something really weird. It happened when it was just the two of them sitting side by side, pouring over some changes he wanted to make with the lighting and visual effects.

“It says in your bio that you’re ticklish.” She said this with such a serious face that he didn’t connect what she was saying with her expression.

“Huh?” He adjusted his glasses as he looked at her again. Then, as if in slow motion, she raised one hand, folded some fingers to make the shape of a gun and that’s when she poked him in the side to tickle him.

“Bang!”

His entire body jerked when she did that and he naturally fell off his seat.

As he stared up at her while she tried to control her laughter by covering her mouth, he thought – I’m in love with a really weird person.

But despite her perverse sense of humor, she was also very sweet. She probably felt similar to him when it came to Arashi. And she was the only person he connected with in worrying about the band. She made sure that they took care of their throats and bodies during rehearsals and she was constantly attentive when it came to organizing their work schedules. He felt that her dedication far surpassed her job description. And although it was irrational, he sometimes felt that he just wanted her to worry about him and not the others.

It was probably because she would still get shy around him sometimes. Like the time when he asked her to rub his sore shoulders, she immediately started scanning the room if anyone was watching. When she spotted Sho, she said she would do it later. But that never came even when they were finally alone.

MatsuJun glanced at the clock in the resting room. Just a few more hours before the concert. But that wasn’t the only thing he was thinking about. Tonight was her deadline. The fun and games were over.

He already knew she was in love with him. The way she responded whenever he kissed her or touched her said as much. But knowing this, and actually hearing it from her lips was an entirely different thing. She was also very skeptical about being with him. Not just with him, but with the other him, the one she still called Matsumoto-sama.

MatsuJun smiled in anticipation of tonight. He had given her time. He had backed off. She loved him, of that he was sure.

But if she still couldn’t admit it to herself... then he would kiss her until she did.






-0-0-0-0- end of chapter 5 -0-0-0-0-

Chapter 6:





1 hour before the concert



The fans started to arrive almost 3 hours before the concert.

Each section of the entire amphitheatre grounds could hold at least 300 people. And there were over 6 sections for just the grounds alone. Of course there was still a second and a third level which had even more sections.

As she watched the fans filing into their seats, she continued to grow exceedingly nervous.

Being the Assistant Manager for Arashi meant that she wasn’t the one in-charge of their events. She didn’t organize the concert itself. But rather, she was the one who made sure that the wishes of Arashi and the agency would be met by whoever it was that produced it.

Tonight, instead of her usual office clothes, she was wearing simple jeans, sneakers and an Arashi shirt. Her large backstage pass was hung from her neck and she had tied her hair in a high ponytail so that it wouldn’t snag on her headset.

She looked at her clipboard again to check if there was anything she had missed out on. It was her constant checking of things that made people think of her as a strict person.

She had just been promoted to Assistant Manager four days ago after they arrived in this city. With the continued increase in Arashi’s popularity, her boss had also gotten an increase in his workload and he had to appoint an assistant.

She was a bit in awe of her new position because it took a lot of bitchiness to do it. The scary part was that she now answered to only the client, her boss and to the agency’s management. There were no longer any co-workers. She had become one of the bosses of this entire operation.

It was a huge step up from when she started as a personal assistant.

But somehow, being just a P.A. seemed more fun. There would have been less responsibilities. And instead of being in the forefront of things, her duties would have led her backstage to where the chaos was.

During those times, she would be constantly running errands and would not even be able to watch the concert itself. She would hear the noise coming from the audience and it was fun to later find out what had caused them to react that way after watching the Concert’s DVD.

Adjusting her headset, she went down to the third section, left of the center stage. As she had expected, she saw that Yuri-chan was already there together with her older sister Rina.

“Yuri-chan, Rina-chan!” She called to the younger girls as she approached.

“Sempai!!!! Kyaaa!!! These seats are awesome!!! I can see part of the stage and we’re so close to the walkway!!!” She was pointing to the makeshift runway that connected several stage sets together.

It seemed that Yuri-chan’s fangirl fever was on. The both of them showed off their uchiwas. Yuri-chan had two, one was for Matsumoto Jun and the other was for Ninomiya Kazunari. Yuri-chan was still torn between who she would now call her ichiban. But as a testament to her maturity, Yuri-chan hadn’t told anyone about her being Matsumoto-sama’s “supposed” girlfriend.

Rina-chan, on the other hand, had only one uchiwa and it was for Matsumoto Jun. Rina-chan was about 4 years older than her sister, and their personalities were quite different. But they both liked the same Arashi member.

“Sempai, arigatou for helping us get these tickets!” Rina-chan’s fangirl smile was not as wide as Yuri-chan’s. But still quite adorable.

“No problem. I’m glad I could get you tickets as close to home as possible. Besides, if this was a Tokyo concert, it would definitely cost more and your mom wouldn’t have let you come.” Tokyo Dome tickets in a similar section of the theatre would have probably cost twice as much. The two girls had been saving up for tickets and their mother had been worried about the amount they would have to spend. As luck would have it, they had relatives in this area so they could get good seats for cheaper tickets and stay overnight once the concert was done.

After listening intently to the sounds coming from her headset, she excused herself from the two after telling them to be careful in going home. She then made her way back to the resting room of Arashi-sama.

Once there, she looked for her boss. The dividers were folded up so that the resting room became a convergence of three rooms. Then there were the smaller divisions for the makeshift dressing rooms of each Arashi member. This room also served as the general meeting area for the staff during this concert, so a lot of people were there.

She spotted her boss and went over to him to report on the set-up outside.

“There you are. I’m not going to be here for the rest of the concert, I have to fly to our other venues to see about things there.” He kept looking at his watch, his words speeding up in the process. “That modified moving stage at the Tokyo Dome is probably going to be the death of me. So I’ll be leaving everything here up to you.”

Eh? Leave things up to her? What did that mean?

Her boss laughed after seeing her eyes grow bigger. “Don’t worry, I just need you to be the eyes and ears of the agency during this concert. Watch out for any mistakes and note them down so that we can take it up later.”

He gave her a set of keys. “I also need you to lock the resting rooms and individual dressing rooms after the concert. That means you have to wait until all the members of Arashi are done using the rooms before you go back to your hotel room. It’s more secure this way. And if they stay here too late, I give you permission to kick them out.” He made an evil smile on his face that had her grinning.

“Oh, the boys also tend to be pumped up after the show, so remind them not to stay out so late or do anything that would get them featured in tabloids or gossip columns.”

She made notes on everything he said. Just how exactly was she supposed to follow his advice and “not worry...”

The noise from the crowd was getting louder. It was only about 30 minutes until the start of the concert.

Some members of Arashi sat huddled together on the sofa sets of the resting room. MatsuJun and Sho were both wearing their customary pre-concert bathrobes and were totally silent as they watched Aiba pacing on the floor. Ohno, with his brows furrowed, seemed to be daydreaming about something. It was Nino who seemed entirely at ease as he finished writing his messages on the personalized signboards that they would throw later for the fans to catch. The only evidence that he was nervous was the jittery movement his right leg was making.

It was at this point that the concert director stood up and drew everyone’s attention. “Minna-san, let us all wish ourselves the best of luck tonight.” He paused, making sure that everyone was listening. “This is the first Arashi concert of the year. If we start badly, it will totally carry the mood for the succeeding shows. So to the camera crew, remember who you’re supposed to be following, I want steady hands for clear and clean footage. To the lighting crew...”

As he prattled off with his reminders, she noticed that MatsuJun was staring at her. She looked back at him and noticed that he was signalling her to go out of the room. When she pointed to the door, he nodded his head.

She stepped out and waited for him. But when he finally came out, he just kept staring at her.

“Are you nervous?” She couldn’t stand the silence.

“A bit.” He leaned against the wall as he continued to stare. “I like your hair tonight.”

She couldn’t find the words to thank him for the compliment so she just remained quiet.

“Can you meet with me later? I mean after the concert?”

She turned a little bit red when she remembered that tonight was supposed to be the deadline on their deal. “Hai.”

He smiled. It was the first smile she saw on his face today.

“I’ll wait for you here in the resting room.” After saying this, he went back in.

The minutes ticked by and the crowd grew restless. The members of Arashi were now waiting by the side of the stage in their first set of costumes. She watched carefully as the lights dimmed. This made the crowd go entirely quiet.

She went to where Arashi-sama stood, waiting for their cue. Bowing low, she thanked them all and wished them a good performance. The video introduction was now being played. Everyone’s attention became glued to the two huge screens at the sides of the stage. She moved to leave the set, but as she did so, a hand stopped her.

She felt a pull from behind and it was only when his arms came around her that she knew it was him. As the sound effects in the video swelled, his embrace became tighter. Then she heard him whisper the words “See you later” just before his lips grazed the back of her neck. She felt goose bumps where his lips touched. And just like that, he was gone.

When she turned back, Arashi-sama had started climbing the stairs that led to the top of the stage entrance. The music began. And as the crowd finally spotted them, sharp bursts of light erupted from the ground, the sound of pyrotechnics mixing with the screams from the audience.




-0-0-0-0-





Middle of the Concert




She stood motionless as she stared at him during his solo. The song had a rock feel to it. And she could hear the audience going wild as he teased and baited them.

He was trying to kill her. Well, not just her, but his fans were turning into screaming crazy-eyed girls.

Everything about him in his “concert-mode” was just too..... everything! He was too hot and too sexy and it was all just too much. That’s probably why his fans tried so hard to get tickets. They knew he would be his sexiest during a concert.

Earlier on, when they were all wearing matching white shirts, he had unbuttoned his, showing more than just a hint of bare skin. Of course his fans had gone insane seeing this. It made her realize that he always opened up at least one of his shirts in each concert. But the big difference was, when he was singing with the other members of Arashi, his appeal was somewhat diluted by the others. Now, it was all about him.

There were shouts of “Kyaaa!” as he passed by a camera man who focused on his face. The live feed for the two huge stage screens was automatically switched to that camera and the whole amphitheatre could now see a close up of his face.

Would he really? Oh my God! Yes, he did! He kissed the screen!!!

The screams were deafening. He was a sadist!!! He was inciting his fans and driving them out of control. And he knew perfectly well what reaction he was producing.

For some reason, she could see him now in slow motion.

He was sticking out his tongue to lick his lips as he moved along the walkway. And as she turned her head, she could see the MatsuJun fans on the right side of the amphitheatre collapsing from heart failure.

Satisfied with that result, he moved to the left. After singing more lines, he posed, looked in the general direction of his fans through his shades, and suddenly took them off. Fangirls screamed once again. Then in a complete repeat of the same phenomenon, his fans on that side collapsed.

Was she just losing her mind and imagining this? Or was it really happening?

She blinked several times to gain better focus. He was on the move again. His solo was almost over and she could see the fangirls he had temporarily knocked out, rousing themselves from their stupor.

He stopped walking at centre stage.

She was at the sidelines of the centre section. As he looked in her direction, he tilted his head to the side, closed one eye, sang the last bars of his solo and made “come to me” movements with his right hand. He ended the song with one of the sexiest smiles she had ever seen on him just before he leapt up into the air while firecrackers boomed into the entire theatre.

She felt her spirit leave her. And so did the rest of his fans because they looked like they had been hit on the head with something. Or rather, by someone.

He left the stage to screams of “Kyaaaa!!! MatsuJun!!!!”

As the lights dimmed, there was not a single MatsuJun fangirl left standing. They had, once again, all collapsed onto their seats.

And because she didn’t have an actual seat, she ended up crumpled on the floor.




-0-0-0-0-0-




30 minutes before the end of the concert




She fanned herself rapidly. She was thankful that so far, to her knowledge, her staff didn’t see her unbecoming reaction to the Matsumoto Jun solo. And also, since his back was turned as he exited the stage at that time, he probably didn’t see her legs turn liquid because of him.

She was supposed to be one of the bosses, for goodness sake!!!

Get a grip!!!!

She learned something valuable about Concert DVDs. It was entirely different experiencing the concert in person, versus watching it in DVD.

She was a bumbling mass of nerves. She couldn’t even look at him backstage as she gave them final reminders. They were nearing the part of the concert when they delivered their speeches and messages to the audience.

“When the confetti falls, start saying ‘Goodbye’ to the audience.” Her voice came out choppy as she said this while facing his pink shirt.

MatsuJun looked at her worriedly. He tipped her chin up and searched her face. “Oi, daijoubu?”

She finally looked into his face. “Hai, daijoubu.” It would help if you didn’t touch me right now! Realizing this, she moved his hand away and turned to the other members of Arashi. “Don’t forget to start saying your “thank yous” and “goodbyes” after the confetti falls on your 5th to the last song. Otherwise, they’ll never let you leave even after your encore.”

After saying this, she moved from the stage and went back to her earlier position.

Calm down! It’s almost over.

This thought suddenly became more alarming.

Oh no! The concert’s almost over!

If she was getting this hot and bothered after seeing him perform, how in the world was she supposed to talk to him when the concert ended?






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Almost 3 hours later





What was taking her so long?

MatsuJun had already showered and was drying his hair with a towel as he watched some of the footage from the concert. He was half dressed in jeans and sneakers and he was once again using glasses instead of contacts. He was reclining on one of the sofas of the resting room with a towel in one hand, and a sports drink in the other. An opened bag of potato chips was on the table.

The other members of Arashi had asked that they go out to celebrate, but he made excuses that he wanted to watch the concert video. They bought that even as they whined that he was no fun.

There were still members of the staff cleaning up the stage sets. Someone had even cleaned this room already, placing the used costumes to one side, with the unused ones already close to each of their makeshift dressing rooms.

There were also flowers and letters from their fans. But he wasn’t ready to look those over yet. He felt edgy, totally alive and energized. Concerts always wired him up so that even after it was over, he still didn’t feel like resting or sleeping.

Where was she?

The staff meeting after each concert had ended about an hour ago. And he saw her leave together with the other staff members, probably to take care of some things. He sipped his drink as he tried to concentrate on the video. But he was just so restless, like he was on a testosterone high or something.

Then he heard someone knocking on the door.





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After the door closed behind her, she surveyed the room to check if there was anyone else in there with him.

Her palms were getting sweaty. And she felt herself losing her nerve. He was sitting on one of the couch sets and it was obvious that he had just finished taking a shower. She wanted to close her eyes against his semi-nakedness. Or maybe ask him to put on a shirt.

How could she concentrate with him dressed like that?

She walked slowly to where he was. Then sat down beside him as he set his drink down and removed his glasses.

He was staring at her again. Could he read what she was thinking?

“So what did we miss?” She asked this as she started munching on the bag of chips, focusing her attention on the TV.

After staring at her some more, his eyes returned to the screen. If she wanted to make small talk, that was fine by him.

“Nothing much, there were some delayed explosions from the pyrotechnics group, but it kind of added to the effect. Still, it would have been better if they were on cue.”

“I’ll talk to them about it.”

She glanced nervously at her watch. It was half past 12 midnight and just before she went to him, she had seen to it that the other Arashi members would arrive safely at the hotel after their dinner out and she had made sure that the other staff members had left after all the tidying up was done. Except for three night shift security guards, they were pretty much alone.

“I enjoyed your solo. Although it did seem like you were trying to kill your fans from overexcitement.”

He said nothing to this. He just waited. And watched.

She took a deep breath. “I realized while watching your solo that you’re not someone I can keep to myself or call my own. I’d have to share you with millions of other girls.” She looked down and saw how her hands gripped her knees. “I don’t mind sharing. I don’t even mind that we would have to be discreet. It’s just that, when I see you perform and I see all the other girls who try to get your attention, I think that you’d probably be bored with me in a month.”

She laughed as she said this. But it was his silence that finally made her look at him.

His face showed his anger. No, not just his anger, but his rage. She tried to get off the couch but it was too late. He grabbed her wrist and pinned her down, each of his hands gripping one of her wrists. And with her back to the couch, she could do nothing but look up at him.

“All this time I’ve been waiting to hear how you felt about me, but you just keep coming up with excuses as to why I shouldn’t even look at you.”

She felt panicked. She had never seen him this angry. And it wasn’t the kind of anger that would ignite then burn up just as fast. It felt like all his feelings were suppressed and were just now coming up to the surface.

“I look at you. And I like what I see. I’m not as fickle as you think I am. And as for all those other girls, I may enjoy being their idol but that’s just one side of me. It’s you who I want. It’s only you who calls to all the different sides of me.”

He loomed over her, his eyes glittering dangerously.

“I can’t wait anymore. I need to know now.” He paused as he searched her face for her answer. “Do you like me? And I don’t mean Matsumoto Jun of Arashi. I mean... me.”

She turned her face to the side. She couldn’t look at him. His face always caused an emptiness within her that needed to be filled. But it was only him who could fill it.

“Hai... I like you.”

Her words echoed in the room. And it was the finality of what she said that made her let go, and simply accept.

He smiled but she didn’t see. It was a sensual smile – a smile full of dark promises.

“Good.” He whispered the word into her ear, sending shivers down her spine.

He let go of one of her hands to tilt her face to his. He was no longer angry. But what replaced anger was something more unpredictable.

“Very good.” Those were the last words she heard just before his mouth closed over hers.



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Author's Note: Ok, this is as far as I've written at my LJ, next Chapter is NC-17 so I won't be posting it here. But as soon as I've posted it at my LJ, I'll put a reply here for those interested in reading it. Please take note that I'm serious about this rating, I also plan to restrict access of this chapter at my LJ.

Also, 2 things you need to know about me: (1) MatsuJun is my ichiban in Arashi and (2) I like to read romance novels. Just so you know, this combination has totally influenced my NC-17 chapter... Kyaaaa!!!

Anyway, thanks a lot for reading and please comment if you can.